Why is it that the ones you don't want to ask you out wont stop asking, and the ones you do, just never seem to? Take this for example...
Every time I travel, no matter where I go, I get bag searched, or explosives tested, or body scanned, or sniffed at by dogs. Apparently to security officials I appear to be the type of person who conceals illicit drugs in unfortunate places. Not only do I get stopped and searched, I am generally examined by the hairiest, sweatiest of the security team, who I feel like leaving with a fresh box of tic-tacs and my blessing.
So, last Friday I arrived in the Sydney airport after travelling home from America. To my surprise, at the security checkpoint there were a number of particularly attractive security officials. Yay! I thought, all of my experience and training in being repeatedly bomb, sniff and drug tested has lead to this moment, where I will be able to handle this ina calm, cool and detached manner, thus appearing almost graceful as the entire contents of my bag is emptied for all to see.
With the poise of a Miss Universe contestant, I confidently glided through the body scanner at peace with the forthcoming frisk. I smiled at the waiting security officers. The one nearest me unfolded his arms and slowly approached. Sure, I thought, I'll stop for you. He paused, nodded, waited for me to... pass by... then proceeded to stop the person behind me.